“Sometimes I think as I write, ‘I shouldn’t be writing this’ or ‘I won’t ever let anyone hear this, I’ll just make this an exercise,’” he says on his website. “And ‘How Am I Ever Gonna Be Me?’ is one of those songs.”
In the CMT studio, Miller explained that about half of his new album Big Big World was written before he got sober, and half was written afterwards. “How Am I Ever Gonna Be Me?” came just before he bottomed out.
“That’s why it has lots of words in it,” he joked. “Obviously, I wasn’t in the right mindset.”
Nevertheless, his acoustic performance was spot on, exposing a tiny voice of uncertainty that grew louder and louder as he spiraled downward.
Miller will take his moment of clarity on tour in February with dates in Tennessee, North Carolina and Georgia. Check out “How Am I Ever Gonna Be Me?” for CMT Edge Live.